mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
i didn’t do my homework but i did do this
sometimes i don’t think i can be any meaner than i already am and then that one fucking person does something stupid and my brain just out-means itself and i end up sitting around frowning for a bit because i don’t know if i should be proud of myself or not
Surrounded by @officialjld asscrack. [X]
i just told my mom on the phone that i’ve angrily (and for two out of three, irrationally) called three people anti semites today and she gleefully officially welcomed me to my own family, saying “we didn’t wanna tell you but you weren’t really one of us until now”